Back home

I realized that I don’t update with posts when I have bad news. And it’s been a really terrible week. But I am so happy right now that I have my whole family back home. I wrote the following words last night, but didn’t publish because I was too emotional. Now that we’re home, I feel stronger somehow, so I hit the publish button:

Things I Have Noticed

Below are things I have noticed since Tuesday April 13th when two of my sons were burned severely by boiling water that fell from our stove. My wife called 911 while I ran cold water on my 5-year-old’s feet and my 2-year-old’s chest and arm. It was bad. The paramedics came fast and before I knew it, they were gone and I was driving to the Hennepin County Medical Center (HCMC) emergency room. My wife went in the ambulance. I stayed behind to get my 8-year-old to a neighbor and grab our cellphones and then took off.

Everyone is okay – doctors say my two sons will fully recover. My 2-year-old has 1st and 2nd degree burns and is home now. My 5-year-old has deep 2nd degree burns on his feet and needed to stay longer. He won’t need surgery, which is a relief. [UPDATE: He will require surgery.] We’re not sure when he’ll be able to start walking.

The photo above is my temporary paper ‘ID badge’ sticker that HCMC security gave me. It was awkward to stare at a camera wondering where my kids were. Was I supposed to smile?

I’m typing this on 04/17/10 at 12:17 a.m. from the HCMC Burn Center, in a room with my 5-year-old, on a pull-out bed.

The accident is so regrettable. It happened so fast and I’ve thought of so many things I could have done differently to prevent it. However, I keep coming to this simple conclusion: We need to slow down. So many things to get done and places to go and this and that and hurry and then… something happens. Damn it.

I had no desire to blog this event, or Twitter something about it, or post a status update to Facebook. But now, it feels like I should post something about it instead of keeping it to myself. It’s significant – but it just feels awkward for my next post or tweet or status update to be about a funny video clip or something insignificant. Or, if I keep it brief and simple I’d feel like I was trivializing it. I also want to get over it.

And like I started saying, I’ve noticed a lot of things since the event. Here they are in no particular order. I’m doing this for me more than you, by the way. Therapy, perhaps.

• One of the procedures my 5-year-old had done to the blisters on his feet was called “De-Roofing”. Just saying that makes me want to puke.
• We can tell if a nurse is awesome or not so awesome within 10 seconds of meeting them. We had a lot of awesome nurses here.
• If I could trade feet with my 5-year-old for 2 weeks, I would. Someone please research this and invent it – I would pay you anything to do it, as would many other parents I know.
• The police went to our house on the evening of the accident to verify our story. That is a good thing. Any parent who intentionally burns their kid should be shot. More than once.
• I know now that 2-year-olds will crimp IVs no matter what you try to do to prevent it.
• There are a lot of people in this hospital who are in worse shape than my two boys and my heart goes out to them. Especially the kids staying in this Burn Center. Oh my gosh, those kids with burns here.
• Legos are therapy for my 5-year-old. Grandma brought him a Lego Star Wars Y-Wing Star Fighter, and little dude was in a zone on the hospital room floor putting it together for hours. In a way, those legos worked better than the morphine did.
• The free patient wireless here (‘HCMC Guest Access’) blocks Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, Foursquare, FTP ports and Instant Messaging protocol. This kind of really sucks.
• Our neighbor across the street said she did not hear the ambulance sirens. But she siad she heard children screaming.
• HCMC does an incredible job with ER care. We received really great care really really fast. Hats off to HCMC ER and Burn Center staff. I’m relieved I have this resource if we get hurt. (When we get hurt, rather.)
• I really like the leg operated faucet in the room (so staff don’t have to touch anything after cleansing hands). Convenient.
• One overnight nurse thanked us for staying with our kids. I realized I take it for granted that my wife and I have jobs that allowed us to stay. So thankful for that.
• Another nurse said we were really great parents. Seemed too ironic for me considering why we were here, so I could barely accept the compliment and say, “Thanks.” But to hear that really really helps. A lot.
• There are people who care about my kids as much a I do.
• These days, communicating this kind of an event is easier, but more complicated. It was tough to keep track of emails, txt msgs, phone calls, voicemail, facebook messeges, etc. Now I know how helpful a site like caring bridge can be.
• Sure, children are fragile, but they are also resilient. Tough as frickin’ nails.

[Read the next post from The Accident: (April 19, 2010) Ravioli 5 days later …]