{"id":10853,"date":"2010-07-23T18:30:00","date_gmt":"2010-07-23T18:30:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/mugshotmonday.com\/site2\/via-new-york-craigslist-ad-stolen-bike-500\/"},"modified":"2021-07-20T23:22:22","modified_gmt":"2021-07-20T23:22:22","slug":"via-new-york-craigslist-ad-stolen-bike-500","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mugshotmonday.com\/site2\/via-new-york-craigslist-ad-stolen-bike-500\/","title":{"rendered":""},"content":{"rendered":"<div id='gallery-1' class='gallery galleryid-10853 gallery-columns-3 gallery-size-thumbnail'><figure class='gallery-item'>\n\t\t\t<div class='gallery-icon portrait'>\n\t\t\t\t<a href='https:\/\/mugshotmonday.com\/site2\/via-new-york-craigslist-ad-stolen-bike-500\/attachment\/10854\/'><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mugshotmonday.com\/site2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/07\/tumblr_l60wrnRuq21qzozgbo1_500.jpg?resize=150%2C150&amp;ssl=1\" class=\"attachment-thumbnail size-thumbnail\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mugshotmonday.com\/site2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/07\/tumblr_l60wrnRuq21qzozgbo1_500.jpg?resize=150%2C150&amp;ssl=1 150w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mugshotmonday.com\/site2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/07\/tumblr_l60wrnRuq21qzozgbo1_500.jpg?zoom=2&amp;resize=150%2C150&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mugshotmonday.com\/site2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/07\/tumblr_l60wrnRuq21qzozgbo1_500.jpg?zoom=3&amp;resize=150%2C150&amp;ssl=1 450w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 150px) 100vw, 150px\" \/><\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/div><\/figure>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\n<p>via <a target=\"_blank\" href=\"http:\/\/newyork.craigslist.org\/mnh\/bik\/1855830632.html\" rel=\"noopener\">new york craigslist ad<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><strong>Stolen Bike &#8211; $500 Reward &#8211; No Questions Asked (10th and C)<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Some assmaster stole my custom made, heavy, rusty Bologna bike at 10th &amp; C last night.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>I&rsquo;ll give anyone who returns it $500 cash, no questions asked.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>I&rsquo;ll also give $1k for the thief&rsquo;s nads on a stick\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Yes way.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Here are some photos (of the bike, not the nads) &#8211; <a target=\"_blank\" href=\"http:\/\/twitpic.com\/27e3a1\" rel=\"noopener\">http:\/\/twitpic.com\/27e3a1<\/a> <a target=\"_blank\" href=\"http:\/\/twitpic.com\/27onqq\" rel=\"noopener\">http:\/\/twitpic.com\/27onqq<\/a>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>It&rsquo;s a lot rustier now, and it has a black seat, black rubber oray grips, and riser bars.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>It&rsquo;s been passed on from generation to generation in my family for almost 3,000 years.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>I&rsquo;d really like to give it to my son some day.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>And if you&rsquo;re the thief, and you&rsquo;re reading this, please give it back. I&rsquo;ll give you the five hundred bucks.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Please.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>If you don&rsquo;t, I will call Dog the Bounty Hunter, Bobba Fett, and Bear Gryls, and they will have a 3 way, and that 3 way will produce a son, and that son will be raised by Tito Ortiz, and on his 18th birthday, he and I will come to your house, and f#ck your shit up.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Thank you for your time.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>***update*** my friend has offered to show her boobs to anyone who finds my bike. So now it&rsquo;s $500, and boobs, or get your ass kicked in 2029 by myself and the ultimate justice baby.\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>That is an awesome bike. Not surprised it received such an awesome\u00a0<a target=\"_blank\" href=\"http:\/\/newyork.craigslist.org\/mnh\/bik\/1855830632.html\" rel=\"noopener\">reward post<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p><em>Found via a @<a target=\"_blank\" href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/craignewmark\" rel=\"noopener\">craignewmark<\/a>\u00a0retweet of @<a target=\"_blank\" href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/robertgorell\/status\/19331383209\" rel=\"noopener\">robertgorell<\/a>&rsquo;s tweet.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>via new york craigslist ad: Stolen Bike &#8211; $500 Reward &#8211; No Questions Asked (10th and C) Some assmaster stole my custom made, heavy, rusty Bologna bike at 10th &amp; C last night.\u00a0 I&rsquo;ll give anyone who returns it $500 cash, no questions asked.\u00a0 I&rsquo;ll also give $1k for the thief&rsquo;s nads on a stick\u00a0 [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"gallery","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center 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